Looking up my past

 I learned to listen to people around me, but not react to their issues.  I did not sleep with Frank or anyone else, and Slowly became interested in my partner in the Wednesday night group in the therapy center nearby my house, where I could bring the kids and we parents had a couple of hours to ourselves.  In the months leading up to June, when I then asked Bill if he wanted to come over for coffee.   I was pretty desperate, because I was approaching the three weeks when the kids would be with their father.  I explained all this to Bill, and he was understanding.  I had a friend be with me when Sadiq picked up the kids, and I had made them each books to take.  They must have been so scared, but I was helpless.  I tried to make everything as normal as I could.  But after they left, I called Bill and he came over soon.  I explained to him how freaked I was, and we ended up spending all night together, because I was desperate to be with them, but could not.  Bill seemed to understand, because he and his two sibs had been abused, and he knew such things could happen. In fact, Riyad was on the back of a bicycle and hurt his leg, and he was able to call me.  I hated that Sadiq could keep Riyad from me, but at least he called.  I was a complete wreck the whole time, but also I was falling in love with Bill.  When the kids returned, I quickly learned my power, because the first time Bill answered the phone, Sadiq’s voice was different.  He respected Bill, and that I had someone to help me helped me to have regular conversations, instead of his usual harassment of me.  Bill and I were together a lot, and in September we moved into a small two-bedroom house nearby.  I began seeing a therapist at the same center with Bill and the kids.  We tried to formulate an agreement that we could abide by.  All fall we worked out a plan, and by December we were close.  I was working at a phone center by then, and my days were all over the place.  Bill picked up the kids from day care or watched them at night.  He proved to be a good father, despite no training.  

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