Looking up my Past

 When We moved to Colorado, things fell apart quickly for Gary.  He had been sober for many months, but as soon as he moved, he got back into drinking and we seldom saw him.  Yes, we did Maui and then Mexico, but Gary was not sober, which is what his parents had hoped.  I kept telling them we didn’t see him, especially after we put the Corral together.  It was a terribly built corral, but we laughed about it.  The gate didn’t swing shut easily, and the whole thing was rickety.  I was busy myself, so I had no time to babysit Gary.  I invited him to things, but to no avail.  We had three and then four kids, and I had my hands full.  I also began going to AL Anon, and that changed my thinking.  I realized my father was enabling my brother, and I kept telling my dad about it.  Finally, at the instigation of myself and my dad, he agreed to take Gary to a rehab place that would take him sober or not.  He was too weak to stop us.  We took him to the place in Estes Park and left him there.  When I was asked to go to the last week, I declined.  I was pregnant and I was also done.  Gary got out and began drinking, but this time a counselor came and turned his life around.  I asked for nothing, and again refused to come out, but my dad did.  It was brave of him, very brave, and of course my mom wouldn’t, because she was still drinking.  This time his recovery worked, and he found a place in Ft Collins, and had birds and felt like his old self again.  Eventually, he moved to Corpus Christi, Texas and bought a house there.  We were thrilled.  

How Did I handle it?  I was vastly relieved but had begun safehouse work and could not really do much else to help him.  

When my mother died suddenly of a heart attack. Everyone went out but Bill, because he was defending his thesis.  He passed and began a postdoc with Susan.  He was looking for a job to get us back to California, as now my dad was alone, and I needed to be close to him.  I worked and took care of the house.  When Bill found a job in Berkeley in March, I let him go and handled all the painting and realtor stuff myself.  I was dying to get back, and when we came back to look out houses, we found one that we liked, and I returned triumphant.  But when the house closed in July, it didn’t close on the last day, because it was an FHA loan and they had not put enough money down.  I had said this all along, but the realtor didn’t listen.   Luckily, my dad advanced us the money.  Nate and Ramiza were with him, while we were packing up two cars and a U-Haul.  I can’t believe we made it, and Riyad had had his license suspended the night before, so he drove without a license.  I was in the van with our dog, cat and Jessi.  Bill drove the U-Haul and Riyad our mustang.  What a group we were.

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