Looking up my Past

 One of my friends from Santa Cruz, who had moved to Richmond and worked for the Dept of Health in Berkeley had a stroke after a few years and was taken to our hospital because it happened at work.  She fell in the parking lot.  Her only child, Jennifer, the age of my daughter Ramiza, called me.  I had just seen her at the Christmas party at my house, and she stayed after everyone had left but Julie.  She had said she was tired of her meds and needed some help, and I begged her to Keep up with them. I tried but had ended up in the hospital.    Jennifer had flown down from Washington State and I met up with her to see. Pam had been operated on then had a huge stroke after and was now considered near death.  I asked Jennifer to stay with me and try to work it out.  Her friend from Watsonville was supposed to be coexecutor, but she chickened out.

Jennifer stayed with me 10 days, and finally I convinced her mother and two brothers in New York to come out, and her ex-husband as well.  The problem was that there was a different standard for organ donation than just being put to sleep.  Jennifer agonized, as did I.  I really felt bad, as I knew Pam had not been taking care of herself and was always short of money.  I had begged her to take better care of herself, but she wouldn’t.  She had been making her usual huge batch of Christmas cookies, and her place was a mess, but it was because she was so conscientious.  I told this to her mother, but when we finally decided to let her go (she died in 10 minutes after the breathing machine was stopped, her brothers and her mother were not here.  What a fiasco.  They went back to New York and only Jennifer was there at her funeral, where we also attended.  What a sad life.  She was a good person, but her mother was difficult, and her family did not appreciate what and who she was.

But I will never her mother’s life, but not in a good way.  I never see her daughter, but I still remember her as a dear person who was stuck with the wrong family.  Her father had died, and I think that was the only family who truly cared for her.

 

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