Looking up my Past

 I met several people when I returned to Berkeley who would turn out to be fair-weather friends: but the worst was Despina.  We were best friends immediately and seemed to get along so well.  Our daughters were very compatible, and My friend was in Anon as well.  She had a mother who was very difficult, and my experience with Alcoholics was similar.   We read books to each other and spent time as a family with their family:  her, her husband, and their two daughters, the older of which was Jessi’s friend.  When we decided to take them to the cabin, I thought it would be wonderful, but as it turned out, Despina thought it was roughing it at the holiday inn, so a cabin was way too difficult for her.  The kids became difficult, and Her child, Sadie, became antagonistic towards Jessi, and began spitting at her.  Then she hit her.  

I assumed my friend would relent, and she admitted at that point that it was too rough for her and the girls.  Her husband had been unable to come with her.

I figured it would be okay, but it wasn’t, and when we talked it over she got belligerent, and then she said I reminded her of her mother.  I was older, but not that much older.  I sat on this for a while, but our friendship was finished.  First, because her daughter was out of control, but also because I didn’t want to be anyone’s mother.  I had four kids of my own, and I sure as hell didn’t need any more.

That was a good example of becoming best friends immediately.  I realized that was not a good idea for me, and I made my friends gradually after that.  We said hi if we saw each other, but no more.  I knew better than to cuddle up to someone so quickly again.

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