Looking up my Past

 I had an experience with friends of mine early that probably changed my life, and it is going to sound ridiculous!  When my friends and I would do each other’s hair and nails and stuff, I would usually not care.  But one time, when I was about twelve or thirteen, and we were all comparing our best features, I was told that my best feature was my eyebrows.  No other features, just the eyebrows.  Everyone else had eyes, nose, mouth or some other features, but for me, there were only the eyebrows.  I’ve never forgotten it.  I knew my friend Marilyn had great lips and a small nose, and my friend Martha had regular features, and My friend Patsy had lovely blue eyes and nice features, and whoever else was there had more going for them.  I felt I had nothing.

That night has stayed in my memory for all these many decades, and I’m afraid even my brows aren’t so great anymore.  

That is when I decided I needed to be smart, super smart, because I was not going to win any competitions in the looks department.

And I probably made myself into a girl who is smart and funny, because I was never the girl who was pretty.  My friend Marilyn, who is quite pretty, even now, has not appreciated my looks. She loves me, but I was never the girl who people stared at or wanted to be dating. I had dates, but it must have been my personality or something equally riveting.  But if I saw someone in class, or casually, I made no impression.  That quality in me has meant no one really tried to pick me up or sent messages my direction. I was not pretty enough to garner that attention.  It haunts me to this day.

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