Looking up my Past

 When I went back to Berkeley after my dad died, I quickly discovered a connection with Sandra Bryson.  She is a therapist, and she and I became friends as she was changing from being a potter to becoming a therapist.  She was upbeat and our daughters hit it off right away.  Eventually, for a few years, we were close, and at that time I babysat Chloe when her parents went to France for two weeks, and later she babysat Nate and Jessi for two weeks.  Ramiza helped when she could, as she was still near us.  We realized that we were not so close as junior high approached, and Jessi went to High school at CPS and Chloe went to public school.  Both were the right choices for them, but by then I was tired of Sandra’s upsets around her kids and all the drama.  I backed out of the relationship, except seeing Phoebe a couple of times a year and giving Christmas and birthday presents to the kids.  What happened as Sandra wanted me to be close to her au pair, but she didn’t want us as part of her adult friends, because we were too conservative and not really interested in her life.  We didn’t part, we just stopped seeing each other, and when she and Elliot divorced, it was even worse.  She was with another man for seven years, then broke up with him, and luckily, she is married now to a great man.  Third time is the charm. My Buddhism had changed my life so much by then that I didn’t want to be in the same boat as Sandra, and she felt the same about me.  I had been doing Buddhist retreats and other events for years by then, and I didn’t want to spend my time with her and her fighting.  But really, we were friends that had the kids in common, and as they grew, we were not in the same league.

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